img(height="1" width="1" style="display:none" src="https://www.facebook.com/tr?id=2939831959404383&ev=PageView&noscript=1")

Happy New Year! Let us celebrate the ties that bind...

Where people live
Where people live

Raise your objections – I mean glasses – and toast planning applications gone by with the traditional song All Land’s Mine.* 

I am a major landowner,
Yes all this land is mine.
I own half of this town and now,
I’m dreaming of pound signs.

CHORUS:
For all land’s mine, my dear,
Yes, all the land is mine,
I shall have my design my dear,
For all land’s mine.

I am a brilliant architect,
It’s at last my time to shine.
I’ve landed this important client,
now I shall have my design.

CHORUS

I am a planning officer, 
If you want my endorsement,
don’t beat your breast, pitched roofs are best,
to guarantee consent.

CHORUS

I engage the community,
I love a questionnaire.
For equal opportunity,
is my duty of care.

CHORUS

I am a local resident,
this plan’s too avant garde.
Yes, everyone I represent,
Says not in my backyard.

CHORUS

I am an endangered species, 
and my family lives on site.
You cannot cut down all these trees, 
you’ll extinguish us outright.

CHORUS

I’m funding two per cent of this,
I should have the final say.
My money’s worth ten times his,
so build it yesterday.

CHORUS

I am a wily journalist, 
I see tensions running high.
I’m positive, if I persist, 
I’ll catch someone in a lie.

CHORUS

I am a local councillor
I might grant, I might decline.
I’m not much of a gambler,
I’ll just vote on party lines.

CHORUS

I chair the local planning committee,
I’m fed up and bemused.
You’re all a bunch of nincompoops,
Your planning is refused. 

 

*Sung to the tune of Auld Lang Syne

Maria Smith is a director at Studio Weave

Latest

Tuesday 1 February 9am - 11.30am

Join us for this RIBA Journal PiP Housing & Residential Developments Webinar on 1st February

Far away from any windows, the bowels of the building are a disorientating, claustrophobic labyrinth, says Will Wiles

The bowels of the building are a disorientating, claustrophobic labyrinth, says Will Wiles

Feilden Clegg Bradley Studios has been busy in Bath, though you might not know it. Which is just what they wanted

Abbey floor and education and office spaces made fit for today

EWI systems eliminate cold bridging by insulating the outer layer of a building, reducing heat loss by up to 40 per cent - and without encroaching on internal space

Reduce heat loss by up to 40 per cent without losing internal space

From a new UK National Security space to reimagining Tate Liverpool or RIBA’s 66 Portland Place, here are the latest architectural competitions and contracts from across the industry

Fancy designing a new National Security operational technology space?