Meet Michael Caine, and Duane and Stacey, among those enjoying well fitted out interiors in PiP’s product round up for savvy specifiers
T&G wall panels in Levanto Marble
‘So it’s not tiles, it’s low maintenance groutless panels, with watertight “Hydrolock” jointing. Brilliant.’
‘I thought you’d be pleased!’
‘The client’s name is what?’
‘Penicillium Roqueforti. Ring any bells?’
‘Well, I knew she was called Penny, but yeah, I didn’t know the full name.’
‘Very fancy family. Very old family. Very big in cheese. They’ve been developing the blue veins in Stilton since the 1720s. And you’ve given her a MOULD REPELLENT bathroom. Good job it’s recyclable. Beautiful as it is, take it out. Idiot.’
PareauLux Climate Ceilings
SCENE 1: A modern open-plan office. Overhead hangs Hunter Douglas’ roll-formed aluminium 30BD climate ceiling whose 130 w/m² cooling system has up to 80% more capacity than competitors with circulation determined by fresh air requirements so draughts are minimised. They do not know this.
Duane: ‘You warm enough over there Stacey? Not too draughty? Not too hot?’
Stacey: ‘Just right, Duane love – and me alveoli are enjoying a healthy oxygenation level nonetheless! You breathing alright?’
Duane: ‘Yeah, cheers! I love having a breathe. I could do it all day, given half a chance.’
[They laugh. Curtain.]
Timber surface finishes
My name. Is Michael Caine. And it’s my 90th birthday. This year. Noddaloddapeopleknow that.
I’m revisiting scenes from my youth. They knocked down. The Get Carter. Car park. So we’re in Shoreditch. To enjoy. The low-carbon beauty. Of this brand new. Office block. Right next to. A completely authentic. And bloody noisy. Tube line.
This site. In the old days. Was a wood warehouse. And that same old-school firm. Sorted all the wood for this lot. It’s done out now. In PEFC-certified. Engineered. Spruce. Like me, it’s strong. Stylish. Sustainable. Quite big. And dead good looking.
Terrazzo Classico cast surfaces
‘We’re a unicorn start-up, obviously. We get people excited. Then, once they’re excited, we teach them how to user.’
‘That still doesn’t tell me what you actually do! I can’t write this profile if you don’t tell me.’
‘We facilitate data-driven tailored content, transform employee outcomes, and deliver on customer demands! I’m amazed you have to ask! We are very futurish and businessy! Our reception has the grooviest bespoke thermoformed, invisibly jointed furniture in sustainable and durable Himacs Terrazzo Classico solid surface material!’
‘Yeah, that is nice actually. I’ll just have a little sit down then.’