With guest appearances from Yves Klein, Papa Smurf, Jackie Weaver – and pure poetry
Lundhs Blue Larvikite
Lundhs Real Stone
Papa Smurf arranges to meet me at his new Smurf Lagoon Resort project, and greets me courteously with a jug of a Curaçao cocktail that he tells me is named in honour of the exclusive retreat.
‘Norwegian Larvikite’ he drawls, in the mid-Atlantic accent of an established global star, indicating the glittering feldspar crystals at the bottom of the pool. ‘We love it. It’s unique and indestructible. Very much in keeping with Smurf brand values.’
Papa has certainly come a long way since his early days on Top of the Pops.
Week-End outdoor furniture
Studio Brichet-Ziegler/Petite Friture at Viaduct
Are you Anish Kapoor? Or associated with Anish Kapoor? If so, please note that you are not allowed to sit on or near this vibrant indoor-outdoor furniture. This is Yves-Klein®’s blue – and don’t you forget it.
If you’re Stuart Semple, however, you are allowed to both sit here and blend equal parts of ultramarine pigment and Médium Adam secret sauce - just so long as you call it ‘Bloop’ or something, and not ‘IKB’. If you’re not Stuart Semple, please relax on a stackable aluminium seat and enjoy that saturated grained epoxy colour.
Style B railings with J finials
Jacksons Fencing
Great Sankey Parish Council is a blessed sanctuary where Jackie Weaver, valiant head of the Cheshire Association of Local Councils, clearly has authority. They’ve not only designated their council field a public amenity, but the £160,000 refurbishment includes drainage, planting, a bespoke gateway, and 59m of Jackson’s Style B galvanized and powder-coated tubular steel railings with ‘J’ finials. Very nice. Very budget-friendly. And crucially, with concealed panel-to-post connectors, vandal-proof. As the parish is only 20 miles from the flaming pit of Handforth, that’s probably wise.
CFT540 pole mounted luminaires
WE-EF
Exterior, night.
[ELYOT SINGS] When one is lonely the days are long
You seem so near
on your five metre al-u-
minium pole my dear
Each night my UV-stabilised
shatterproof cover
Yearns for its LED lover
sealed, and sweet.
Someday I’ll find you
Moonlight behind you
marine-grade cast alloy gleaming
True to the dream I am dreaming
warm and white
3000k light
If I draw near you
We shall stand
Hand in hand
Time is so fleet
Why shouldn’t we meet?
[AMANDA] You absolute fool! We’re concreted in!
– from Nöel Coward’s ‘Private Lights’