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Interiors ideas that are out of this world, but very much in it

Exploding stars, the Typical Teenage Trio, Marilyn and dayglo booty shorts make an appearance in this month’s interiors products round-up

Dekton 4mm and 8mm sheets
Cosentino
 
‘Nothing says executive washroom like a vast expanse of smooth, professional, textured grey, does it? Every morning I pull up my Bianchi and come in here for a quick post-ride shower, and I look at these Dekton 4mm Kreta walls, and the 8mm Lunar floor, and I recall the material’s carbon-neutral lifespan, its ultracompact production from 20 minerals, and its UV, scratch, stain and thermal shock resistance. And I say to myself, I say: ‘Col mate, you’ve arrived’.’
 
‘So what do dayglo booty shorts say then, Colin? What do your Mamilian Lycra skimpies say?’
 
Synestesia marble-effect slabs
LEA Ceramiche
 
[Phone rings] ‘Hello? Hello? Yes? This is Marilyn? Oh! Mrs Kennedy! Yes… yes… No! He did say that – but – Mrs Kennedy, I turned him down! I don’t want to live in The White House! I love my new little bungalow. I’ve just fitted the kitchen out in LEA Ceramiche laminated porcelain slabs, Mrs Kennedy. They remind me, actually, of the big onyx lighter on the President’s desk. They are resistant to stains, and scratching, and completely impermeable. And, Mrs Kennedy, they repel dirt can withstand a lot of heat – and some, I’ve heard, like it hot…’
 
Aluminium cell ceilings
Hunter Douglas
 
‘Welcome to The End of the Universe! Milliways diners, please dock your ship with our automated valet Marvin, and make your way to your table.
 
‘If you are viewing the cataclysm from our foyer, the stars of the galaxy are arrayed overhead, clearly visible through our open, light, corrosion-resistant aluminium cell ceiling. Please take a moment to appreciate the way the installation masks the plenum and frames the space – if you’ll pardon my pun.  This ceiling’s amazing durability is about to be demonstrated. Stars will explode in 4… 3… 2…’
 
Dormakaba horizontal sliding walls
Style Partitions
 
‘They’ve escaped! The Typical Teenage Trio! They’ve escaped from the Indigo Eat and Smile enclosure in the Human Zoo!’
 
‘Dammit! That trio was one of the last non-breeding sets in captivity! They must have pinched the keys to the premium milled locks on the easy-to-operate dormakaba horizontal sliding walls! Get Style Partitions on the phone – and fast! They’re exclusive UK distributor now, they’ll know what to do.’
 
‘Hold on... I’ve spotted them!’
 
‘Where? Oh, on their damn phones, with a Dirty Burger – three feet from where they woke up.’
 

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