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Specified: Interiors ideas to keep warm this winter

Claire Leavey

No need to be crass to be cosy: our latest collection of interiors products for stylish and comfortable living

Amalgama Block Herringbone
primed boards

Simon, come on in. You know Alan and Katriona from HR & Legal, don’t you? And Rashik is down from HQ.

No, this is not a carpetting – look, you’re almost completely on the wood bit! Each bevelled T&G lacquered board is FSC® certified timber. The top third is 4mm slow-grown European oak, backed with spruce or birch ply! And there’s underfloor heating too. Go on, give it a feel!

So, you see, Simon? No carpetting here. We are going to have to let you go though.

GRP Composite shower pods
Offsite Solutions

Stop! Our rigorous specification process has resulted in exactly the factory-finished GRP pod you were about to compromise. The fully-installed shower unit, wall-mounted toilet, mirror-fronted LED-lit cabinet, white granite-effect solid surface vanity shelf, vanity front, wall-hung D-shaped basin and circular mirror with halo lighting are all exactly as our designers envisioned. They spent endless meetings just deciding on which two of the multiple tile-effect finishes would go where. It would be sheer desecration of that vision to have messy human bodies actually use these cost-effective, quick-install facilities. That’s why there’s a watering can and bucket in the corridor.

Ancona radiator in Rose Blush
The Radiator Company

So I’m like, objectum-sexual? I’m in an on-off open pan-poly relationship with the Tour Eiffel, the Golden Gate Bridge, a wire fence in Maine, and this sexy little custom, six-column steel radiator. His Pistol TRVs are a naughty detail that I love; and yes, we spend most evenings cosying up together.

He has 188 RAL-coloured brothers in 32 special finishes, with five configurations, 25 heights – and three mounting options! They’ll all be here in 4-6 weeks, so the next step in our relationship is, obviously, get a bigger house.

I’m committed. He’s got a 10-year guarantee. Can’t say that about humans!

Section O Window Guard

‘Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Grow your hair back quick ’cos I reckon that now that witch has installed a set of first-to-market NHBC-approved Keylite window guards in various chrome types and tube lengths – all to comply with this June’s enactment of the new Building Regs Part O ref: 3.8 ‘Protection from Falling’ – we can wrap your plaits round this one a couple of times and I can climb up without ripping your scalp off like when we tried before! It’s healed well, I’ll give you that! And I’ve been working on the weight loss too!’


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