Looking for roofing ideas? We’ve got suggestions in standing seam zinc, a roofing membrane, structural glazing and pivot roof windows
Centre pivot roof windows
Keylite
‘Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your amazingly long hair out of the Keylite centre-pivot roof window!’
‘Don’t be a mug! My dad’s locked it and I don’t know where the key is!’
‘But the flick-fit brackets mean you can probably just pop it out again! And the sash hinge finger springs mean you can just slap it back after, in one easy motion!’
‘But I don’t want to damage the integrated expanding thermal collar! And my name is Lorraine! I don’t know you, strange window-fitter man! And this hair is extensions!’
Invisio structural glazing system
IQ Glass
‘It doesn’t look quite how I remember it, Sarah.’
‘But Grandfather! This house was here in Lime Grove when we filmed that seminal first episode of Dr Who in the Totter’s yard! The one where teachers followed me home from school and discovered us going into the Tardis!’
‘Yes, Susan, I know. It’s this IQ Invisio structural glass extension. Quite remarkable! It’s thermally broken, and with slim, industrial silicone joints gives the illusion of a much larger space. Almost Gallifreyan in its “relative dimensional” ingenuity, in fact. We should get a quote to have one fitted.’
Pigmento standing seam zinc
VMZinc
‘Oi! Down there! You smug patriarchalist! You’ve got no idea, have you? Look up for once in your life FOR GODDESS’S SAKE! I am Whitehorn Hall! Purpose-built student accommodation named after the QUEEN that was Katharine Whitehorn: columnist, broadcaster and first female rector of St Andrews! My VMZinc Pigmento standing seams in mineral pigmented pre-weathered zinc and maintenance free! That’s real feminism! LOOK UP, you fool, and see that the future is female, watertight – and GORGEOUS! ‘But OH NO you’re just up to your chauvinist eyeballs in Shakira videos!’
Roofshield membrane underlay
A Proctor Group
‘Nearer my God to Thee? I love it. The congregation at St Andrews, Bangor, is really going to go for that.’
‘Well, Reverend, it’s not exactly finis…’
‘It’s breathable! So no need for a vapour control membrane! This is going to save us THOUSANDS! And look! It’s almost like stained glass! This is going to give those Papists a real run for their money!’
‘But Reverend…’
‘We’ll sing it at the dedication. Can we get away without tiles as well? I’m booked for a fortnight in Dubai.’